Live, Laugh, Learn, Love...

SONNET 48
How careful was I when I took my way,
Each trifle under truest bars to thrust,
That to my use it might unused stay
From hands of falsehood, in sure wards of trust!
But thou, to whom my jewels trifles are,
Most worthy comfort, now my greatest grief,
Thou best of dearest and mine only care,
Art left the prey of every vulgar thief.
Thee have I not lock'd up in any chest,
Save where thou art not, though I feel thou art,
Within the gentle closure of my breast,
From whence at pleasure thou mayst come and part;
And even thence thou wilt be stol'n, I fear
For truth proves thievish for a prize so dear.

Sometimes in life you have to do things that are hard.
It might feel like the hardest thing, but someone else is facing something harder.
Sometimes the thing that you are best at is being lost.
But you have to move forward.
Move ahead. Search for what you don't know.
It's hard...

So, I thought flashbacks were just things in movies that were vivid and long and funny...
they're real, and they are short and you feel them in your chest and they have been happening to me a lot recently
I remember my first kiss and I remember scary things and i remember the first time I felt passion.
I see everything so vividly for just a second, but then the feeling lingers.
I can feel it in my shoulder blades and my chest and behind my belly button.
I can never talk about these things in life, but this is what artists thrive for. that is the feeling that needs to be portrayed through my art, through my acting.
If I can get in touch enough with these feelings as an artist, and make other people feel it too.... then I am on the road to a successful artistry.

Recently I wonder if thinking about my life this way is sad. I don't think it is... I just love to express.

I haven't written in a long time.
My life is so busy.
I actually feel like I'm kindof doing something with my life.
I just wish I wasn't so freaking lazy.
I really hope someone calls me with a job offer....
I think it's crazy that I could audition for 300 shows and still not get a role...
I've been dating shawn for a year and almost 7 months now... that's the longest I have ever dated someone in one full duration.
I have a lot of thoughts. I wish I could focus.
So many ideas, so many solutions.... so many ways to vary one solution... how do I make something the best that it can be?
What is the best?
I always have so many questions...
and I can never express things in words.
I erase my secrets. Haha... I just did.
Why?
what am i hiding?
who am I hiding it from?
I ran into someone for the first time in a very long time last night,
you'd think things would change over time.... but they don't.
Some things never change.... and some things change drastically.
for better..... and for worse.
But that's all subjective anyways.
I want a job this summer. I want to be paid for something that I love to do.
not selling knives or getting skin cancer or cashing in an air conditioned supermarket...

Isn't it strange to know that you'll never know what the future holds?

What shows would I be good in? What are roles that I could play?

I want to take my bunny for a walk.... too bad he's not a dog.

I think every day is just as important as any other day (like prom, or your wedding...)--- so I've decided that the every day should be recorded, and I am going to make i a point to find something epic about every day. That should keep things exciting. It is something to live for.

Happy Tiara Tuesday :)

Shawn and I recorded "Try" from the movie Fame
It wore me out.

Jem:Merry Christmas Bundle of Muffins <3
Rah:Merry Christmas Love Monkey
Jem:Kisses, hugs and peppermint tea <3
Rah:Sausages, roses and cotton candy fluffernutters :)
Jem:and peanutbutter chocolate cake batter, and orange ice cream honeysuckle eskimo kisses
Rah:P.S. Rainbow Pies
Jem:So many Rainbow Pies...

Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.